First and Then…

It begins when you can’t stop bringing them up in casual conversation, even to people who don’t know them or don’t know you.

You know when they are happy or sad or lonely, even when they won’t own up to their feelings, because you somehow just sense it.

You find yourself accidentally talking about the future, even when you don’t mean to, and it just happens to slide into conversation.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-you-know-youre-in-love/

and eventually…

You learn to differentiate between love, lust and attachment.

Realize that relationships aren’t supposed to make you feel good as much as they are supposed to teach you something, and to help you grow. Allow someone to be part of your story and not the tragic, final scene. Take from it what you need to learn.

Let yourself be sad. Resisting it makes it worse than it is. Give yourself time to mourn and grieve the loss of someone who was a big part of your life. Then let them go, and love yourself enough to let yourself go too. As in, let yourself walk away from them in the metaphorical sense. Nobody else will give you permission.

Embrace that you may never get over them, but let them be a part of your story anyway.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/10-ways-to-fall-out-of-love-with-someone/

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I don’t know when I became so afraid of being with someone. Suddenly, I’ve become uncertain and indecisive. The thought of being wholly responsible for someone else’s emotional wellbeing is suddenly a burden that I do not want to bear responsibility for.

 

My fear of settling for someone and making the wrong choice disables me from making a leap of faith. I can no longer believe that everything will be ok.

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Don’t Settle For What Doesn’t Make You Happy

Thought Catalog

Why do we do it? We meet someone, we are semi-interested, we exchange info. We go out a couple times. We’re still very “meh” about the whole thing. Yeah, he’s alright, we think. And he does everything right. He calls and texts (but not too much), he does sweet things to let you know he’s into you, he makes and keeps future dates, he opens up. So you let down your guard, you open up, too. And you admit to yourself that you like him. Maybe this time is different?

And then it happens. His calls and texts get shorter and more sporadic. You feel like you’re the one always initiating. And thus begins The Doubt Game. You question everything. Is he not texting as much because he’s more comfortable with me and doesn’t feel the need to, or has he lost interest? Should I call him, or should I…

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Ida Liu

Such a fantastic read with many thought provoking views and anecdotes:

My father really is an inspiration to me. He instilled in me from a very young age a work ethic and the ability to work really hard, not give up. I saw him start a business and the can-do attitude and work ethic were instilled in me at a very young age, and still inspire me everyday.

I thought the same way that she did when I was looking at job opportunities in the last few years of university.

At the time, I thought that it would be easier for me to go into investment banking and then into fashion rather than the other way around.

An amazing role to kick-start her foray into the fashion world.

Within four months, she went from running one struggling department to running all of the European designer collections – Chanel, Armani, Dolce and Gabbana, Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent – on the second floor of Bergdorf Goodman.

Finally, some very useful advice:

She tells women to “be gutsy.” She explains, “You don’t want to be your own obstacle. You want to take on challenges and continue to challenge yourself. If you don’t ask, you’re not going to get.”

http://www.theglasshammer.com/news/2009/11/19/voe-ida-liu-head-of-the-fashion-retail-and-consumer-group-citi-private-bank/

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Loneliness

At 9:04 on a Friday night, I experienced a dawning realisation of loneliness.

It was the Friday before I was due to start work and I was on my way back to my new room. A train had just left and there were sixteen minutes until the next one would arrive.

Under the harsh bright lights of the station, I was suddenly struck  by how lonely my shadow seemed. I wanted to call someone but I realised that there was no one that I could pick up the phone and speak with, and to tell them how lonely I was feeling.

Sure, there were text messages waiting to be opened and responded to, but I wasn’t in the mood for flirtatious banter or witty sarcasm. I went on Facebook and there were a series of messages to respond to, as well as new conversations which popped up. That kept me occupied for a while but the feelings of loneliness did not diminish.

The loneliness was subdued and tolerable. It wasn’t painful and it didn’t cause anguish. The profoundness of my thoughts was primarily derived from cognitively recognising that those feelings of loneliness existed.

I wanted to talk to someone about it. But I had just had dinner with Number One and our conversations have become superfluous at best. As for The Captain, he was in a different country and in a different timezone so he wasn’t exactly an option. The person that I would have wanted to talk about it with was Buff Guy but I couldn’t. He was upset at me for various misdeeds, which included, letting us become the way we were.

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Dearly Departed

The Captain left for the other side of the world today to begin a five months work placement. He had undergone a vigorous interview process to secure this internal transfer so that he could work with a partner well known for his brilliance in macroeconomics.  His placement had been arranged prior to recent developments and we both knew that his scheduled date of departure was non-negotiable.

When we discussed it a few weeks ago, we were both inspired by a sense of urgency and a certain degree of abandon. We agreed to not overthink anything and have lots of fun. We both promised to try to avoid the missteps that threw us offcourse last time. In the end, we both just wanted to have something that was worth resuming. We did accomplish all of those things, and then some.

Now barely a day since his departure, I can’t help but begin to miss him already. In a reluctant, irrational and surprising way, I miss him.

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They’ll know that all degrees — at least all degrees that aren’t math, engineering, etc. — are worth less than tissue paper. They’ll know that deans and college administrators are the world’s greatest conmen, convincing millions to sacrifice $30,000+ and enter indentured servitude for a tacky-looking piece of paper.

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Everything needs to be done RIGHT AWAY. And sometimes, even IMMEDIATELY isn’t fast enough.

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